Shame and Abuse

Shameful feelings frequently become pervasive when a child is subject to sexual, emotional or physical abuse. If disclosure and reparation do not take place trust is broken and a devaluation of the self follows. To survive necessitates the child adapting and creating protective measures as a shield to shame and other painful feelings and memories. These adaptations may help initially, but over time and into adulthood they create more complex issues for the individual to manage, including various forms of distancing from others.

Shame is linked to low self esteem in that when a healthy self esteem is not achieved one is left with a depleted sense of self and a struggle with shame.

When shame becomes problematic it can have wide reaching effects; how one feels about and treats oneself and how one interacts with and treats others. It is paralysing and isolating, affecting ones ability to interact with others and take part in ordinary day to day activities. Shame is frequently behind other more known or obvious presenting issues such as depression, anger, relationship difficulties and substance abuse, which is one of the reasons why shame is often referred to as a hidden emotion.

Psychotherapy and counselling focus on recognising shame and other feelings, as well as how we try to avoid these distressing feelings and thoughts. There are often recurring themes and patterns that can be identified and worked through and this may mean talking about the past and how that might impact currently.

The psychotherapists at Talking Therapy are experienced in this work and in the way it is delivered, always valuing the client and what they wish to work through and carefully matching the pace and intensity with the individual.

If you would like to make an enquiry or a counselling appointment please call Talking Therapy on 3548045 or email This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.